I allowed Satan to use my child today.
I know, it sounds crazy, but you’ve probably done it too.
During worship this morning, a full day of wedding festivities yesterday, combined with a new friend at church, made for a very tired, and therefore silly, 3 year old. It started out as refusal to stand during the music. That’s fine. Then, it turned into rolling up the bulletin and using it as a trumpet. Not as fine. Next, jumping up and down ensued, as his church shoes make a really fun sound on the floor. Finally, the 2 new friends decided to have a grand ole time laughing, playing, and just generally doing the exact opposite of what I would have liked them to.
All of a sudden, all I could think of was….
“What is everyone thinking? Do I ignore this and choose my battles? Do I take him out in the middle of the service, which will undoubtedly cause screaming and even more disruption? I’m raising a stereotypical pastor’s kid. I was just telling the lady behind me how he was a pretty good kid and we don’t have much trouble with him. I’m sure she thinks I’m crazy. Do they think I’m a bad mom? Do they think I’m being too hard on him? Or letting him get away with too much? I don’t want to raise a disrespectful and defiant child. I don’t want to be “that mom”. ”
At that moment, I felt a tug. Something snapped me back to reality. Worship is my absolute favorite part of Sunday mornings. I will belt some Chris Tomlin and NeedtoBreathe in my car all week long, but there’s something about singing along with 60 of your closest friends all worshiping together. The praise team was singing, ironically, It Is Well With My Soul, People around me were worshiping. Eyes closed, hands raised, focused on God.
Not me…….Not my 3 year old…… God.
And just like that, I realized it. I let Satan use my child to distract me from worshipping. Did Satan make him behave like that? No, the fact that he’s 3 caused that, but Satan used his behavior as an open door to start feeding my insecurities and distracting me from what I should be doing. Worshiping the One who gave me this 3 year old, and teaching and showing him what worship is.
So, I picked up my child and sat him on my hip. He looked at me and said “I’m tired Mommy.” I started to sway with the music and sing, certain that he would put his head on my shoulder or sing start singing along.
He did not. He started kicking and loudly declaring, “Put me down, I’m a big boy!!” So I put him down, and kept on worshipping.
Not today, Satan. Not today.